Author Archives: Katherine

About Katherine

Hi I’m Katherine; I’m a competitive sailor with a gap between my front teeth and especially good plaque-reducing saliva (not a single cavity). I’m the author of a book titled “Who in this Room,” but don’t even try to buy it because you can’t. I’m the Norwegian-American mother of an Africa-American two-year-old who loves Curious George, brushing her teeth and washing her hands. I’m married to Paul, an extremely likeable software engineer with a fondness for roadside furniture and a habit of whistling in his sleep. We have a sweet dog named Norah who has rocks in her head. In 2005, at the age of 31, I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Statistically, I was given a 10% chance of living five years. Over the next six months I received 154 shots, ingested 510 pills, and spent 140 hours sitting in the green vinyl recliner receiving nearly two gallons of intravenous medicine/poison. I followed chemo with a bi-lateral mastectomy chaser and washed it all down with six weeks of radiation. Nearly a year after I started, I was declared cancer free and kicked from the sanitized nest of the oncology ward into the blaring sun of life. On May 20, 2010 I will have lived five years past my diagnosis. These days I am what my sister calls self-sustaining high-maintenance. It’s hard work keeping this complicated piece of machinery running. I take a handful of vitamins twice a day; I adhere to a special diet devoid of gluten and soy. I drink tea, distilled water, almond milk and sake (exclusively but never together). I used to be the person who would roll her eyes at the person I have become. In spite of how all this sounds, this blog is not about cancer. Here’s what it IS about.

Sunscreen Report 2011

Oh my god, the sun is out, where is my sunscreen post?! Imagine me digging around in the piles on my desk. Oh, that’s right, I haven’t written it yet. Save the kittens!

First off, you can get caught up with last year’s sunscreen news here.

The big news for this year is concerns nano zinc and titanium particles. These particles, when inhaled, have been shown to cause cancer in lab rats. More studies are needed before we know if they have a similar effect when absorbed through the skin, but for now, they’re easy enough to avoid.

Same as 2010, we’re trying to stay away from oxybenzone (endocrine disruptor). Vitamin A (retinl palmitate) is still controversial but also easy to avoid.

Kathy and Statia over at Safe Mama have already posted an awesome sunscreen report. They have a short list of what you should buy, with many reviews and feedback about texture, consistence, scent and efficacy.

The Environmental Working Group also just released their list of the best sunscreens. There are some great mineral and non-mineral options.

As for me, I’m still looking for the holy grail of sunscreen – the natural lotion that won’t make Josie bright blue. This year I think I’m going to try these

All Terrain Kidsport Sunscreen Spray SPF 30.

And the Aubrey Organics Saving Face SPF 15 Sunscreen for me. I love their conditioner and I could get this one at PCC.

How about you? Do you have a natural sunscreen you love?

Save the Kittens!

We were in Monterey a few weeks ago and one night there was a terrible thunder storm that shook the house and cut the power, at least that’s what I’ve been told. I have no recollection. All I remember from that night are my dreams.

In the first dream, a box of kittens had fallen from someone’s car and there were tiny kittens running all over the freeway. I was driving and suddenly trying not to hit the kittens or the people who were trying to save them. They were so tiny with eyes closed and their mewing mouths. So tiny! Don’t hit the kittens!

In the next dream I’d scored the lead role in a musical. I was wearing some kind of costume that may or may not have been made of paper mache, and I was about to go on stage without having practiced at all. Oh, and I’m tone deaf. There’s that too.

Anxiety anyone? Apparently I’m stressing about my upcoming readings and “author signing” events and wondering how we will keep a baby, a tiny little baby, from being run down by the speeding hatchback of life.

Lots of things are happening over here. Lots of good things. No news on the adoption front, sounds like the waits are longer than ever. BUT, it looks like I’m headed to New Orleans to party with 30,000 librarians at the American Library Association’s Annual Conference on June 25th. I’ll have an author signing and a hopefully do a reading at a bookstore while I’m there. If you know anyone in New Orleans, pass it on; let them know I’m coming. More details later…

The first version of advanced (rough draft) copies of Who in This Room: The Realities of Cancer, Fish and Demolition will be done on Friday. I can’t wait to hold it.

The katherinemalmo.com and katherinemalmo.com websites are under construction.

The launch party and reading dates are being finalized for October. I get sweaty palms just thinking about them. Save the kittens!

Finally, the lovely people at CALYX Books are making a video trailer for the book. What fun! Have you seen any book trailers that you really like? Any thoughts on what should be included?

PS – Save the kittens!

The Peanut Puzzle Part I

After my last post, I know you’re all relieved to know that we finally settled in around the one pool in the greater Las Vegas area that did not have loud music. It was a plain rectangle that was in the shade of the high rises until 1:00 every afternoon but we made do.

The highlight of my reading was this: “The Peanut Puzzle: Could the Conventional Wisdom on Children and Allergies Be Wrong?” Sorry, they won’t let you read the article.

Um… YES.

Since 2000 the “conventional wisdom,” endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, has said that parents should wait until a child is 6 months old before introducing solid foods. Then parents should start with the foods that are least likely to cause allergic reactions. This late introduction was thought to make children less likely to develop food allergies.

In the past decade peanut allergies have doubled. Clearly there’s something wrong with our “conventional wisdom.”

I hated giving Josie formula. Spooning powder from a can seemed like the antithesis of nourishment – it was the ultimate processed food. I was anxious to start her on solid foods, but I followed the conventional wisdom and waited until she was 6 months old to give her a bite of cooked sweet potato. In spite of my efforts, or maybe because of them, she’s currently allergic to eggs, soy, white fish and tree nuts.

Doctors Hugh Sampson and Scott Sicherer at Mount Sinai Medical center have found that food allergens are unavoidable and babies come into contact with protein molecules though particles in the air and on skin and in other food and that by giving them such small doses we are actually making their systems more sensitive and more likely to develop allergic responses.

“You can’t avoid food proteins,” Sampson, said. “So when we put out these recommendations we allowed the infants to get intermittent and low-dose exposure, especially on the skin, which actually may have made them even more sensitive.”

Based on a report submitted by Sampson and Sicherer, The American Academy of Pediatrics overturned this practice in January of 2008, stating – “Current evidence does not support a major role for maternal dietary restrictions during pregnancy or lactation… There is also little evidence that delaying the timing of the introduction of complementary foods beyond four to six months of age prevents the occurrence of [allergies].”

Now what? The retraction of the previous recommendation leaves a hole where the current advice should be placed, but there’s nothing there. At this point, all we know is that we don’t know what we thought we knew and I guess that’s a great first step.

When did you introduce solids? How did that work out? Does your child have allergies?

To be continued…

Vegas

We went to Vegas on vacation recently. Paul was there for work and, well, it seemed like it would be easy to join him for a week of sunshine and swimming.

We found a great condo and our accommodations were perfect. We had a kitchen, living area and big bedroom. We were upgraded to a corner unit on the 29th floor with a view of the strip and the desert beyond. The morning after we arrived Josie and Paul headed down to the pool at 9:00 am. I could watch them playing near the lazy river from our room. It was 80 degrees. It was perfect.

Then I went to the pool.

First there was the walk to the pool lined with monitors advertising a Vegas show that involved the shaking of bare butts. Please, could you make sure the hallway content is rated G? Then, we got to the pool and starting at 9:00 am every morning they play LOUD music. I mean so loud that I couldn’t read.

And, no, they could not/would not turn it down for the pasty white lady reading her New Yorker in the shade.

Then at about noon the 20-something’s descended on the lazy river. The pool bar sold fruity, boozy concoctions in gigantic plastic containers. I can’t call them cups because they were so much more than that. They were like 18 inches long, shaped like barbells and outfitted with long straws and lanyards so that you could wear your vodka slurpee around your neck. That way, if you’re too drunk to lift your glass you can still manage to get the super-long straw into your mouth. Awesome.

There was a guy in our hallway who was so drunk at 3:00 in the afternoon that he couldn’t get his zipper up. He stumbled over himself apologizing while Josie stared at him wide-eyed. I’m sure that was one of his proudest moments.

OMG, Vegas? What was I thinking?

We did eventually find one pool that didn’t have loud music and I did eventually get some reading time while Paul kept our girl from drowning in the pool. She, by the time we left, was swimming and breathing on her own and diving to the bottom to retrieve toys. I think she gained 5 pounds of muscle that week. Think of what she’ll be able to do when she reaches the ripe old age of FOUR. I look forward to watching her swim laps from the quiet shade of a palm tree somewhere other than Las Vegas.

PS – I intended to write a quick intro to this article I read, about kids and food allergies, but it looks like I’ve lost my way. That’s how it goes some days. I guess you’ll have to check back next time to hear about the important stuff.

PSA: Small Publishers and Independent Booksellers

Before Who in This Room was picked up, I had a vague idea of why independent booksellers were important. Now I understand.

When Who in This Room made the rounds to the big publishing houses, I was told, over and over, that the writing was good, the story enjoyable but that it wouldn’t sell. In a few cases, the editors were in favor of the book, behind the book, but the process always got hung-up in the marketing department. They didn’t know how to sell the book and they weren’t willing to take the chance. Too risky, they said.

Finally, the book was presented to CALYX Books, a small press who has been discovering and publishing women writers for thirty-five years. They were the ones who believed the book would sell and decided to take a risk by publishing it. I am flattered and honored by their generosity. They publish two issues of their excellent literary journal and one book each year. That’s right, they publish one book a year. They take great pride in the work they do and they should, they do great work.

You know all those tables near the entries of the big chain bookstores, piled high with books, the latest, soon to be best sellers? Those spaces are all paid for. The big publishing houses purchase those spaces to push books they think will do well. You can be sure that Who in This Room will not occupy one of those spaces. CALYX Books simply can’t afford it.

The people who work in independent bookstores – Elliott Bay, Third Place, Powell’s, Village, Tattered Cover and many others – they actually read the books they sell. They read the books and they develop opinions; they make recommendations based on those opinions and upon what they hear from customers. They put books they like on tables and, sometimes, they put the books they like into customers’ hands. I am grateful for them and I am hopeful that some of them will put my book into yours.

PS – CALYX Books is always in need of donations. They are a 501c3 so your contribution is tax deductible. You can also support them by subscribing to their fantastic journal. One of the stories from Who in This Room will be featured in the next edition.

Soap

A friend and I were recently engaged in a riveting email exchange about the merits of various natural cleaners and detergents when I realized our conversation was a blog post looking for a place to happen.

Just so you know I DO totally feel like the happy homemaker right now. Does your soap give you dishpan hands? But I’m going to carry on because this is useful information.

Please add to the conversation by sharing your favorite, or least favorite, products in the comments section.

Here we go.

We like Seventh Generation for the bathroom. I can’t say that I have done any research as to its claims of naturalness but I can say that they sell it at PCC, my local co-op, and they are usually pretty good about vetting products.

We like CitraSolv for the rest of the house. I love orang-ey smells!

I know there are a lot of you out there who use water and vinegar mixtures. How does that work? Do you use them exclusively for every application or do you occasionally slip a product in here and there? What ratio of water to vinegar works best?

For dishwasher soap, we use CitraDish. I used to have this terrible dishwasher that couldn’t clean a thing. I tried several brands until I finally found this one. It made my terrible dishwasher look good.

Now, for laundry… I was reading a post on one of my favorite blogs recently where she asked her readers what they used for laundry detergent. A ton of people recommended Charlie’s Soap. I’d never heard of it. I ordered some and it is awesome, non-toxic, and it makes my clothes and towels really soft. I cannot believe I just said that. Do you have dishpan hands?

Please, don’t make me suffer up here alone. Tell me what you like and don’t like. xoxo

PS – dispan hands?

Josie’s Middle-Aged Baby Sister

Josie and I were at a stoplight one day about 18 months ago, before we’d decided to adopt again, when Josie told me her baby sister was coming and pointed out the window. She said her name was Hona and I was super-surprised to find out she was a middle aged white woman wearing sneakers.

We made the decision to adopt again about a year ago but since we weren’t going to start the process right away and we knew how long the process takes we decided to wait as long as possible to tell Josie. So we still hadn’t told her when a friend said, “Hey, if you need any baby boy stuff, just let us know.” Josie was sitting on my lap and she turned, put her hand on my tummy and said, “You have a baby in dere?!” Oops. I told her, that no, I didn’t have a baby in there but that we’d talk about it later.

When we got home late that night she said, “Mommy, who’s Michelle?” Oh heavens. Michelle (name changed) is Josie’s birth mother. I looked at Paul, I guess we’re going to talk about this now… He nodded. So we did. We talked again, about Michelle and the women who choose families for the babies in their tummies.

Then I told her that she was going to have a baby brother or a baby sister and that she was going to be the big sister. She threw her head back and covered her face with both hands. She made a long yelling/laughing aaaahhh sound that could have been agony but that I knew was excitement. I knew the sibling-induced agony wouldn’t come until later, hopefully much later. I could see the smile even under her fingers. Hona would be with us soon.

Progesterone Did It

When I first clicked thru to read this story, “Estrogen Lowers Breast Cancer and Heart Attack Risk in Some.” I assumed it was another example of completely contradictory information, upholding the theory that almost anything can be proven to be good or bad for you if the right test is done in the right way. Hormones are GOOD for alleviating symptoms of menopause. No, they’re BAD, they cause cancer. Vaccines are GOOD for your children. No, BAD, they cause autism. No, GOOD, they don’t cause autism. Beets are GOOD for you. No, BAD… OK, that last one is just wishful thinking on my part. I hate beets. Don’t even try to tell me I haven’t had them fresh enough or prepared the right way. I’ve tried to love them, really I have.

But enough about me… Apparently when a woman is given estrogen she is also given a form of progesterone to protect her uterus. If the woman has had a hysterectomy she can take estrogen alone. The study followed these women, who didn’t need to take progesterone, for 11 years and found they were 23% less likely to develop breast cancer than the women who had hysterectomies but did not take estrogen.

Everyone seems to agree that more investigation is needed before any big changes are made, but who knows, maybe there’s a hysterectomy and estrogen therapy in my future. I do hope someone weighs in on this soon because it’s been, like, three whole years since my last surgery. I hardly know what to do with all my free time and extra body parts.

It’s a Bufflehead

It’s April, finally the time of year that we go back to the island. In the winter, when the baseboard heater can’t keep up with the cold on the other side of our single-pane windows, and the concrete slab floor feels like ice, and we have to drain the water heater every time we leave, and a certain three-year-old’s hands are cold, and she has to use the potty after you’ve turned off the water, and she’s tired and hungry for a snack, and you still have a boat ride before the car drive, its best to just stay home. But this time of year, when I start to feel spring coming, I get anxious. I can smell the lake water and taste the fresh crab. Almost. Here.

We made it up to the island last weekend. It was the first time we’d been up in a while and one of the crazy things about little kids is that they change so much so fast that it seemed like I was taking Josie to the island for the first time again. It’s not that she doesn’t remember it. Oh, she does and she loves it, but she’s so grown up, so mature that she sees new things and appreciates another aspect of the island.

We were at the marina. Walking down the dock, I noticed a duck-like bird. It was nearly all black with white wedge around the eye. Josie was walking next to me holding my hand. We stopped and looked at it. We described it to each other.

When it flew away we noticed that it stayed close to the water and it had a white stripe on its wing near where it connected to its body. Then we walked on.

When we got to the house we picked up the bird book. She sat next to me on couch. We looked through pictures together until we found one that looked right, then I read the description of the bird and we agreed that it was indeed a bufflehead.

Did you hear what I said? We walked down the dock together. We stopped to describe a bird. She SAT on the couch next to me. We looked at pictures. She LISTENED to the description. These are all things that I would not have thought possible six months ago, or even last month.

It wasn’t just a mallard, it was a bufflehead and maybe next time, maybe sometime before the summer is over, we’ll see a pink-billed oystercatcher. Really, anything could happen.

Happy Belated

I missed my blogiversary! What’s going on around here? Who’s running this place anyway?

On December 14th, HMN turned a year old. This was my very first post – I Apologize in Advance.

It’s fitting that there’s an apology in the title. That I start out apologizing for what I am going to do. I realize now that when I became a blogger, I made a presumption that my experience, knowledge and/or writing were valuable to others. That’s a huge presumption and at times feels egotistical and totally against my nature and I have to crush the compulsion to just shut-up and apologize for taking up your time.

Its one thing to write in the removed fortress of a book but it’s another thing to write and have people actually read your work and respond… Immediately. A friend once asked what surprised me most about blogging and that was my answer – having readers.

Every time I post it’s hard not to imagine people taking time out of their busy lives to read my words, and to imagine their reactions, and to assign totally fictional thoughts and critiques to totally fictional people. This is only fueled by the excitement of learning your carefully-chosen words about cancer, race or your child have been read by hundreds or even thousands of complete and total strangers. My imagination runs unchecked bringing out my inner, apologetic, critic who just wants to stay out of the way.

Almost every time I post something I have a mini-crisis. I’m probably having one right now. I’ve heard things about mean people in the blogosphere and I know, eventually, one of those people will find me. And they’ll find a flaw in my writing, or more importantly, my character. They’ll point it out and there it will be for everyone to see. It’s only a matter of time.

But that hasn’t happened. Maybe someday it will, maybe someday it won’t, but for now I’m going to celebrate that worst fear unrealized and I’m going to revise my answer to my friend’s question. The thing that surprises me most about blogging: how nice, loving and generous everyone has been with their comments. And for that, dear reader, I thank you.